Suck My Blog

MTV Nominates Lameness

So MTV announced its music video award nominations today.  I can hear you yawning through the internet (I'm using Skype).  Remember when music videos were so amazing (Weapon of Choice) or so reprehensible (Lady Marmalade) that you would actually want sit down and watch this stupid award thing?

Well, the videos nominated this year are so boring.  Best example is Shakira's Hips Don't Lie video. 

Yes, she can shake her junk.  Good job!  It's a talent, and I'm glad she makes gazillions of dollars.  But should her video be nominated for an award?  It's the same three shots over and over again.  It's like watching an old Hanna-Barbara cartoon, where the character can only do three things.  In Shakira's case, she can shake her ass from the back, shake her hips from the front, and then to spice it up, she can also shake her boobs.  Should anybody be awarding that outside the context of a porn award?  Even if the award is as lame as an MTV Moon Man?

The LiquidGeneration Show #61

Hello Everybody! We recorded this show last Friday, but couldn't put it up until today due to some "technical difficulties." But don't worry, because here it is in all of it's audible glory. Remember, if you have anything you want to say in our show, just email us! We'd love to read your emails! Oh, and please note this was recorded on Friday. Before we knew Mel Gibson hated the Jews!

 

This is Betsy Whorepants. She's been abused.

Click here to listen - The LiquidGeneration Show #61 - July 28, 2006

Click on the iTunes graphic to subscribe using iTunes (recommended):

SHOW NOTES:

• It's hot outside!
• Mel Gibson is drunk
• Lindsay Lohan gets a spanking
• Lance Bass is Gayyyyy!
• M. Night Shamamamamalamama!
• 50 Best Movie Endings!
• Harry Potter going to be naked!

Also: The podcast feed: http://feeds.feedburner.com/lgradio

What did you think of the show? Did it suck? Hurt your ears? Was the volume too low? Complaints can be sent here: LGRadio@liquidgeneration.com. 

Does Mel Gibson Hate YOUR People?

Mel Gibson is back in the news!  While getting arrested for drunk driving on Friday, Mel said some  very derogatory things against a certain ethnic/religious group.  If you're like most people, you're probably asking yourself, "Does Mel Gibson hate MY people?"  Find out by taking this simple quiz.  For each "yes," give yourself 1 point.

1. Do your people have a history of being "hated on?"
2. Do your people like to relax or "chill out" on Saturdays?
3. Do your people call churches "temples," or stranger yet, "syn-ag-ogues?"
4. Do your people occassionally eat potato pancakes which bear the same name as the foreign character on the sit-com Taxi?
5. Do your people call themselves "the Jews?"

If you scored a five, congratulations!  Mel Gibson totally hates your people.  A LOT!  If you scored a zero, Mel likes your people, unless your people hated Lethal Weapon. 

If you scored between one to four points, Mel Gibson is watching you sleep at night.  And he's touching himself.

Morning Roundup

Good morning.  Somewhere in the world, Pam and Kid are taping themselves snuggling.

• Pamela Anderson described her wedding to Kid Rock this weekend as "the most romantic wedding of all time."  I know most little girls dream of getting married in a bikini to a skeazy, shirtless guy on a boat.
• Miami Vice beat Pirates this weekend at the Box Office.  However, they could never beat pirates... on the high seas!
• Mel Gibson went on an anti-semetic tirade last Friday, saying the Jews are responsible for "all the wars in the world."  In an unrelated story, a war just broke out at Mel Gibson's house.
• Edie Van Halen will write the soundtrack for a porno.   Dude, that porn is gonna ROCK!

LINDSAY LOHAN RESPONDS TO MORGAN CREEK EXEC: F-YOU

OMG! Fight! Fight! Lindsay Lohan has just responded to a letter a Morgan Creak sent to her about her recent work habits, or lackthereof.

I don't know what to say about your recent letter that
was hand delivered to my current residency in the John Bulishi Suite at
The Shato Marmont in Hollywood. How dare you say that I'm acting like a
spoiled little brat for not showing up for work? How dare you say that
I'm actring incourteious to the other actresses in the movie? Do you
not realize that it was as hot as a sweaty buck crack this week? Do you
like it when your the hair on your talent looks like a wet pair of
boxers that have been collecting ball sweat all day? I don't think so.
I was not partying like you wrote...I was inside my suite....sick as a
dog from all the heat! It is HOT out there! Do I need to repeat myself
because I think I just did because it's SO FREAKING HOT OUTSIDE!!!!

More...

We love public Hollywood fights like these. It makes are jobs so much easier when we just don't have to make this stuff up.

Get Your Creep On!

Wax Baby Shiloh gives me the creeps!  Madame Tussaud should stop stealing babies' souls.  That's very uncool.

Morning Roundup

Are you pumped for the weekend?  Just don't get pumped with "performance enhancers."

• In response to his first failed drug test, Tour De France winner Floyd Landis says he has naturally high testosterone levels... if you know what I mean.  Right, ladies?
• Reps for David Hasselhoff denied that he was not allowed on a British Airways flight because he was drunk.  It was because he was WASTED!  YEAH!  OW OW OW!
• Michael Jackson is selling his Neverland Ranch theme park rides for $500,000 a piece.  This officially marks the end of the golden era for child molestation.
• Now you can see Shiloh Pitt up-close -- with a creepy, horrifying face!  Thanks, Madame Tussaud.

Here's Something You Don't Want To Do On Fox News...

...unless you want that bitch bitching at you.

Celebrity Art: David Hasselhoff

It seems like David Hasselhoff is everywhere these days, from TV talent competitions to ego-driven Broadway musicals.  He has dominated our culture, so here's a painting to illustrate his rise to power...

All Hail Hasselhoff
by LiquidGeneration
acrylics on canvas

Morning Roundup

G'morning.  I hope you didn't take your bike to work...

• The Girls Gone Wild tour bus has officially gone too wild -- no, it didn't get naked with another bus and started making out.  It hit a bicyclist.
• The winner of this year's Tour De France, Floyd Landis, might have failed his drug test.  Was he riding a bicycle built for "dude, let's get high"?  (Drudge)
• Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock are gonna get married 3 times, in three different locations.  If it goes well, their marriage ceremonies are gonna tour worldwide!
• Ricky Gervais, the boss from BBC's The Office, says he's quitting comedy.  God damn it!  I'm going back to bed.  I don't need this!  (BWE)