Suck My Blog

Find Out Which Song Was Stuck In My Head!

The worldwide search is officially over.  To find out what song has been stuck in my head for weeks now, watch the exciting sequel to What's The Song Stuck In My Head?

Which song is it?  Who won the big $5 iTunes Gift Certificate?  Was it YOU?  Find out now!

[Click Here To See Part One]

THIS MAN WANTS TO PEE IN YOUR FACE

Hey, kids! Guess what this man wants to do? Give you a lollipop? Sell you some drugs? Give you a hug? Nope! He wants to pee in your face! He says so himself!

LiquidGeneration invades WoW?

Is there are World of Warcraft guild that I don't know about? If so, where the hell is my invite?

Morning Roundup

Wake up!  Do you remember that cat fight you started last night? ...

• In an interview with Larry King, Star Jones described Rosie O'Donnell as "vicious."  If these two fight, all I'd care about is that they both got hurt.
• Jackie Chan wants to give away half his wealth to charity.  The charity?  Jean Claude Van Damme.
• Perez Hilton has posted the new solo single from BEP's Fergie.  Once again, Fergie has a really weird nickname for a body part.
• The Hollywood Reporter wonders if Superman is still an American.  In Superman Returns, he's not portrayed as patriotically as he once was.  Well, if Superman doesn't like it here, he can fight Bizarro in Ottawa.

Literary Critique: A-Team Erotic Fan Fiction

Suck My Blog has decided to go where the New York Times Book Review dares not tread: literary critiques on erotic fan fiction.  For too long, this brilliant genre has gone critically unappreciated, until now.  Today, we'll review a gem which chronicles the early adventures of those rebel action heroes, The A-Team.  When they're not running from the Army, they're running into each others arms, and exploring their sexuality.  Here's a segment from internet author emmastark's Come On Baby, Light My Fire (we cannot link to adult stories on the site, but feel free to Google it), in which young Face and Murdock finally get some alone time away from the others:

"Hannibal frowned. [Murdock and Face] were taking care of each other. Steadying each other. That was good. And god knew, nothing about any of his guys was army regs, himself included. 

What Face and Murdock had was dangerous, though.  [...]

Sometimes this war seemed to be more about uncertainty than anything else. Pounding everything you ever thought was sure and true into the dirt. Making you build your own kind of meaning for all of it, if you could.  If you could. 

[Hannibal] walked back to the hootch with BA and Ray to try and get a little sleep. 

Face and Murdock were not thinking about existentialism. Face and Murdock, nineteen and twenty-one respectively, were thinking about f***ing each other’s brains out on the dirt floor of the motor pool. 

Face jumped out of the jeep as Murdock drove it inside the small, corrugated tin building. The building had been painted with flat black and green paint; it’s dull surface radiated heat. 

Face shouldered the door closed anyhow, pulling the chain around and padlocking it on the inside. He tackled Murdock as he climbed out of the jeep. Murdock rolled with Face across the dusty floor, and their mouths hunted each other hungrily. 

“Shirt,” Murdock said, hands pulling at Face’s jacket impatiently. 

“Come on, baby,” Face murmured, reaching down between them and rubbing at Murdock’s crotch, “Light my fire.” 

Murdock (grinning) got to his knees..."

They're fighting with each other, side by side.  Back to back.  Rear ends touching, I'm sure.  I pity the foolish TV producers who only showed us car explosions, and failed to find the sexual explosions that roared between the heroes.  This is an engaging short fiction masterpiece.  As the show itself proclaims: "if you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The (Gay) A-Team."  A-

WATCH OUT FOR GAY DANCING TRANSFORMERS

OMG! It's the real fake Transformers movie trailer featuring a gay dancing Transformer! It's more than meets the Queer Eye! (snap!)

SAY A PRAYER FOR DUCE BIGALOW

What's up with Rob Schneider? He's collapsed on a movie set, that's what's up! Officials are saying that he likely collapsed from heat exhaution, though we don't know whether or not they were using quotations around "heat exhaution." If that was the case Mr. Rob Scheider could be 1) a drug addict, 2) an alcoholic 3) both a drug addict and an alcoholic. Guess we'll have to wait for his next appearance on the Tony Danza  Maury Povich show to find out.

Celebrity Art: Britney Spears

We decided to immortalize Bazaar Magazine's upcoming nude photos of pregnant Britney Spears...

NOT SEXY!
by LiquidGeneration
acrylics on canvas

Morning Roundup

You've got to wake up this morning and pack your Red Bull and baby gear...

• Britney Spears is moving back to Louisiana to be with her mom and family.  K-Fed will be visiting her, but will stay in Los Angeles.  Phew!  Thank God K-Fed's not going anywhere!
• Recently ousted, outspoken ex-View host Star Jones has already been removed from The View's website.  I'd like to remove Star Jones from every website.
• The girl from 24 and Rush Limbaugh?  Kissing in public?  Well, that's more evidence that we're living in an alternate universe.
• A Washington State school board dropped a proposed ban on flip-flops, saying the ban would be impossible to enforce.  Meanwhile, kids are having sex in classrooms.  But let's keep arguing about those flip flops!  (Drudge Report)

MARIA SHARAPOVA, FULL OF GRACE

LiquidGeneration's second favorite Russian Tennis Hottie shows us her camel toe. Why? Because Russians are sexy. I'll write no further:

    (click on the camel toe to make it bigger)